maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Even the bartender felt bad for me
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
