that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
