Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
