She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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