I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
