i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
