you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
