I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
