Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
did i just pee glitter
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
