ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm getting married
To pizza
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
