Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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