She's JV to your varsity
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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