The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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