Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
