i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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