Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
