So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
