girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
