i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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