Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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