a queef is a wish your heart makes.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
