I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
