it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize