Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize
