he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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