my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
