and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
