walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
