oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
