roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize