It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
