hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
