I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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