What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
