Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
foreskin is a definite game changer
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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