I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
