well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
