when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
