I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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