I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I party with great urgency now.
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