He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize