maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
