I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
