the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
