I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Just cropdusted the office
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
