Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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