turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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