Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
