TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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