i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
