new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
