I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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