Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I think i peed on brittanys purse
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
