he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize