i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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