I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
