i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
What a dumb baby whore.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
