very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
