"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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