YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize