This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
