Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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