She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
