She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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