we have pet lesbian snakes
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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