just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize
